Happiness on hold…

The hold button…if I could only count the number of times I’ve been on hold…waiting, waiting, waiting…longing to hang up but knowing if I do, I will just have to wait again. The other day, I had an issue with my computer. A patient and calm man from India named Fred – I actually questioned him, “Your name is really Fred?” He responded, “No. But no one can pronounce mine” – walked me through the issues of my computer,  but the majority of my time was spent holding, waiting, wondering.

I heard two women talking the other day. They were waiting for their daughters to finish dance class. One remarked, “When I get the kitchen finished things will be different. Right now, it is just horrible the way we are living.”

We tend to put ourselves in happiness “on hold” modes, convincing ourselves that if we just have this then everything will get better. If I were thinner, taller, richer, prettier…if I were faster, stronger, bigger, smarter…when I get my new car…if my hair only looked like that…when the kids are older…if only they were still young.

I could be happy if I could sell this house; I would be happy if I had not married her; there would be more to do, if I didn’t live here; I’d have a different job if I had studied harder; if he were more like her husband, my marriage would be good.

And one day, somewhere in later life, we realize happiness was always holding.

The choice is really ours; how we look around at our world and choose what we see. Our affirmations for the day can be positive or negative, its all in the way we view the surroundings.

I remember a time in my life when I was sick and I had to drive to Atlanta for medical care – an hour and a half if traffic was good. My appointments were scheduled usually with a lady who loved to sing, not that she could ever have a record label, but her songs filled the room while we waited. One appointment she looked at me and whispered, “Why don’t you sing with me?”

I thought about it for a moment and declined. Singing was the last thing I wanted to do. She smiled at me, “Girl, there is no better time to be happy than right now.”

Life is filled with challenges. No one is exempt from struggles and trials. If we spend all our time waiting for happiness to find us through what we perceive to be “the answer,” it never will.

My family had a yard man named Lee Cullin. He could tell the funniest stories and always had a saying or some tid-bit of advice. One day I heard Lee tell my grandmother, “Ms. Dolly, I work like I don’t need no money; I pray like I has it all; and I live like I knows Jesus is coming today.”

As I finished my conversation with Fred, I thanked him for helping me fix my computer and asked, “What is it like in India?”

“In India?” he asked.

“Yes,” I replied.

“Oh, it is always wonderful in India. But I live in Austin, Texas.”